Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
