just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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