all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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