I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm just crazy horny about you
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
