Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
