I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
