Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
