Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
