I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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