I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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