I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He passed out mid-signature
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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