Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
