And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
