I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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