his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
