Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
