So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
