You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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