I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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