What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
