You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
