I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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