Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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