I wish I could teleport
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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