If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
