I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
