I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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