You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
