you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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