I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize