Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
