its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
