Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
