these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
