have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
