You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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