I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
