You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize