isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
