So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize