So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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