A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
