Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
