I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
