420 ftw
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
