Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
