she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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