Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
