If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
even my farts smell like vagina
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
