At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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