that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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