woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
