Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
