My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i believe in u and ur pee
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
