You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
