Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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