Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize