Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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