i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
