Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
