Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
