We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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