I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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